Diary of Parenting Overseas...Entry #6

Entry #6....Hospital Norms

• Make sure to bring a copy of your passport and visa with you when you check in! Even if your water has broke and the process of labor has begun, they insist upon it!
• Nurses tend to be there with you ALL THE TIME!! Privacy, I don't believe, is a vocabulary word in the hospitals in India. When using the toilet, dressing, and/or showering, they are right there with you and ready to lend a hand..literally!
• Nurses also tend to think you know nothing and they know everything. Be ready to get advice on every detail they think you should know: your nails are too long hence you will hurt your baby; you can't have your baby if you don't feel the pain; here's how you should change your clothes; the baby is crying and this is why; you should feed the baby your milk; and so on....
• Be ready to have 3-4 people in your room at one time. Some you may know their purpose and some you may not. While feeding your child, the dietitian walks in to get your dinner order, the head care consultant is asking you questions in regards to your stay, the nurse comes in to give you medicine, and then another young Indian lady walks in and just stand there. It is quite possible for some hospital staff to walk in, look around the room, check you and the baby, stare for a few minutes and then leave. The feeling of utter confusion is completely normal. Chances are, they are no real purpose, but only wanted to come see the "white" baby.
  
• The process of getting discharged from the hospital is not organized at all. Don't stress if you ask all day when you will be sent home, they tell you they will let you know and then in the evening give you 30 minutes to come pay the bill and get ready to leave.
  

Diary of Parenting Overseas...Entry #5

Entry #5: Room Reservations
There are three room categories at The Cradle and it is a good idea to reserve a room at least one month prior to delivery. Reserving a room would seem like a pretty simple process, but, as we have learned, it is just as complicated as many other processes in India. Here are a few tips we have learned so far in reserving rooms:

• Room Categories on Normal 2 Day stay: Deluxe-Rs 42,000 ($860); Super Deluxe-Rs 51,000 ($1,050); Suite- Rs 60,000 ($1230). These prices include the room, meal plan, all doctor fees, operation charges, LDR charge, and general nursing care. This does not include costs for pain relief, medications, vaccinations, or any other special care required.
• The above fees are for Indian citizens. For foreigners, the prices are more expensive. (We are still not sure what the reasoning is behind this). However, we were given the Indian information when we took our guided tour and, therefore, only have to pay Indian amounts.
• It is best to bring your passport when reserving a room so they can make a copy of it and your visa. Otherwise they ask you a lot more questions and then tell you to bring it at the time of admission.
• Make sure you bring any information you were given at the time of touring the facility as well as the name of the person who guided you in the tour. Otherwise, reception and other staff members may not believe that you actually took the tour and will ask you a lot of unnecessary questions.
• You are required to pay an advance on the room when reserving it. We had to pay Rs 10,000 in advance.
• If, for some reason, the room you reserved is not available when you go to deliver, they will upgrade you to a room at higher category and only charge you the amount of the room you reserved.
  

Diary of Parenting Overseas...Entry #4

Entry #4: Packing Checklist
Unlike hospital stays in America, there are many items that the hospitals in India do not provide. Here is a list of items we have learned that WE are responsible for bringing when our little one finally decides to come:

• Slippers/shoes for mother
• All clothes for baby (must be washed and ironed)
• Little hats for baby
• Diapers (you can bring them with you or purchase from the downstairs pharmacy)
• Clothes for mother (making sure all clothes are warm during winter months)
• Any other items that are needed/required for mother and baby care that are found in the pharmacy are to be personally purchased: pads, wipes, etc... These are not provided when you need them by the hospital staff. Instead, you are told what is needed and then you are responsible for going downstairs and purchasing them. Again, it is not something they provide that shows up as a charge on your bill at the time of discharge.
  

Diary of Parenting Overseas...Entry #3

Entry #3: Not in India
We have learned that many practices as well as medical supplies are not common in India. It is good to be aware of this so that you can make plans in advance.

-Boys are not circumcised in the Hindu religion. Some hospitals are very aware of the procedure, but have to put the baby under anesthesia. Others, including our facility, is not aware of this practice at all. When we asked our doctor, she looked at us as if she wasn't sure why anyone would ever do such a thing.
-Newborn diapers are very difficult to find. Those with free space for the healing belly button are not available.
-Nipple creams and medicines to reduce burning are also not used/found in India.

Diary of Parenting Overseas...Entry #2

Entry #2: Scheduling Appointments
We began making appointments around our 4th week of pregnancy. Our doctor had us schedule appointments every 3 weeks. After our 28th week, she began seeing us every 2 weeks, and after our 34th week, we began seeing her weekly.

Our facility is through a large hospital that has sites all over the NCR area. Therefore, our doctor is only at our particular facility for 2-3 hours a day. Taking into consideration this piece of information, along with the fact that there are at least 2 million people living in our city, and the cultural understanding that most Indians run late, the hospital will more than likely schedule 3 patients for every scheduled time slot. This ensures that the doctor will constantly be seeing a patient and that he/she will possibly see more than 1 patient in each time slot in order to get to cover all appointments within the time they are at the facility. So it helps to make sure you are right on time for your appointment if you want to go first. Otherwise, know that the patient that got there before you with the same appointment time will go first.

Each doctor's visit costs Rs 350 which is just over $7.00. You are usually required to pay this fee BEFORE your appointment. The receptionist prints out two receipts: on is given to you and the other is given to your doctor by a nurse upon your arrival into his/her office. Anything apart from this is a paid for separately.

Before leaving the facility, we recommend you schedule your next appointment.

*All facts are based on our experience in Gurgaon at the Cradle through Apollo Hospital.

Diary of Parenting Overseas...Entry #1

There are many lessons we have learned and tips we have gained from others in the process of foreigners having babies in India. We know we are not the first nor will we be the last to embark on this journey. However, there have been times we just wanted someone to sit down and tell us all the important details that no one else thinks to tell you or that you can't find on the embassy website. So we are going to being to make entries into throughout the next two months as our journey will soon conclude with the birth of our first son.

Entry #1- Getting a Head Start...
We found that it is very helpful to find your doctor and your hospital as soon as you can after finding out you are pregnant. Of course this is true when living in the states as well. But for living somewhere foreign, it helps to bring that peace to your heart that often questions the unknown of the journey. For those living in or near Gurgaon, we recommend The Cradle through Apollo Clinic in Sector 14. Dr. Preeti Agrawal is a wonderful, calm doctor who has had a lot of experience with foreigners and lives 5-10 minutes away from the hospital. Dr. Preeti has guided us through since the beginning and is very familiar with all of our needs, questions, and circumstances as foreigners.

It helped to take a tour through The Cradle in order to determine if it was suitable for us. We were able to meet many doctors and other important staff members to get a better feel for how things were run at the facility. Do not be afraid to look as much as you want, ask as many questions, and repeat the process until you are 100% sure the facility is best for you! It has also paid off as it seems so many staff members know us now by name and often times they are quick to provide extra support or get us in a bit faster.

Often times, foreigners live in smaller areas that do not provide adequate medical care. However, if you live in a larger city, it is very helpful to find a location near where you stay. This way you are only minutes away from your facility. You will be able to see the doctor on a regular basis and can participate in pre-natal classes (or what they call in India ante-natal classes). It will also help you get established in your community as more of a common resident rather than a foreigner. We know of other foreigners who have had great experiences through Max Medical Centers and La Femme in New Delhi.

Get a Ticket!

When parking your car at any mall in our area, you are always given a ticket from an electronic device. Sometimes you pay before parking and other times you pay after. When exiting the parking garage, you will always give the ticket back to a mall parking attendant.

HOWEVER, what happens when the electronic device is broken? Do the rules still apply?

Apparently, if you do not make sure to get a ticket, you will be violating all the "laws" of mall parking garages and will be treated as such. I know, you are probably thinking..laws are enforced in India? But apparently, at certain times or with certain people, laws are applicable.

The other night we were going to the mall and this exact situation occurred. There were mall attendants standing there whom we asked to give us a ticket. They told us it was broken and to just go on and park. We did so and had a great time. But when we went to leave, we had no ticket to give, but willingly paid the 30 rupees to park. The little man at the booth told us it was 40 rupees and then had us pull to the side for just a moment. We waited and waited. Tempted to just drive off, but didn't as we want to be good tourists. That's when the head of mall security approached our vehicle, asked us many questions about our car, took down the license plate number, and insisted we give him our vehicle registration papers. He claimed it was standard procedure, but we were quite skeptical! Just to be careful, we called our good friend who is a lawyer to help deal with the situation. During the conversation, the security guard wanted to see JP's driver's licence to record his information. That's when we put our foot down! He insinuated many things about us: we possibly stole the car, we didn't pay the parking, etc.. It was such an odd situation, but our lawyer friend was such a great help. He got us out of it and then, when we told the security guard we had already paid 40 rupees for parking, the attendant lied and said we had only paid 30. Thankfully, our reaction seemed to scare the little man, and he immediately gave us our 10 rupees back.

Again, it was such an odd situation, but one I know we just needed to learn for the future and to blog about for others! So here are the 2 lessons we hope you learn from this:
1. Always get a ticket, no matter what from someone, when entering the parking garage of a mall otherwise you may never get out! HA HA!
2. Try to make friends with an Indian lawyer to help you in silly, enforced matters such as not having a little parking ticket!

Oil Changes and More...

Here are a few tips to keep in mind in owning and maintaining a vehicle in India!

• Reliable oil changes are done at the dealership. NOT just any motor vehicle service station.
• Even with an appointment, a simple oil change can take all day.
• Dealerships often have 2 waiting lobbies: one for drivers and one for owners.
  
• A simple oil change costs around 2000 rupees.
• Make sure to get a pollution test, or what you may hear as polishon test, every so often on your car. You WILL get a ticket if pulled over by an officer and you don't have up-to-date paperwork.
• Pollution tests aka Polishon Tests cost about 50 rupees and only take 5 minutes at any gas station.
• You MAY get pulled over if you run a yellow light and IF the cop is really dedicated to his job.
• You MAY get pulled over if you are driving with your high beams on and you shine them in a cop's eyes IF he is really dedicated to his job.
• Even if there is no sign indicating that a street is one way, you MAY get pulled over for driving the wrong way on a one way street IF the cop is really dedicated to his job.
  

(All of our experience is based on driving a Toyota Innova).

Where there is no Home Depot!

India is truly the country of mom and pop stores. You will never find one large store, such as Home Depot, where you can find anything and everything you need. No matter where you go, there are tiny hole in the wall stores along the sides of the roads that are the best places to get materials as well as a personal handy man who will come and fix your problem!

We have also learned, that although homes are appearing more western, the infrastructure still does not meet the standards. Therefore, we suggest that when one moves to India, to immediately get phone numbers for an electrician, plumber, and carpenter. However, you can not find these numbers in your cities local phonebook (what's a phonebook?) or even look up these stores on the internet (don't exist). You can get help or numbers from your guard in the complex/neighborhood, you landlord, or neighbors. Once you get those numbers don't be surprised if the next time you dial up you get a "this number is no longer in service" message. Hint: get another handy man!

Some tips on home repair...

• Caulk is called Sealant
• Grout is grout
• Key part on the water hose running to your toilet is called a CP Nipple
  
• Always take the broken or piece needing to be replaced with you to the store. It is much easier to show what you need exactly rather than explaining and getting something that is just slightly different. This is even important when exchanging light bulbs
• When someone installs a split unit air conditioning unit, don't be surprised if they make a hole in the wall, put the AC above/over the hole, and leave the hole. Time to call the carpenter!
  

Attending a Wedding

Wedding season in India is during the month of December and March, usually done on an auspicious date given to the family by a Hindu priest by using the stars and calendar. Even the time is given by the priest as to when the family should have the final wedding ceremony.

Here are a few tips to keep in mind when attending a wedding:

• Wear fancy clothing..preferably Indian attire for a woman and nice slacks, shirt, and tie for a man. If you don't, you will stick out for sure!
  
• Purchase a beautifully decorated wedding envelope from any stationary store to place a cash gift inside.
  
• If you aren't really close to the family, a cash gift of 251-501 rupees is appropriate to give to the family. If you are closer, you would give more.
• Arrive 45 minutes to 1 hour later than the time printed on the invitation.
• When greeting the family who invited you, hug them, send them wishes, and then hand them the envelope.
  
• Be prepared for a LATE night/early morning. Dinner doesn't usually start until 10pm.
• Make sure to go with someone. You may very well be the only foreigner there and it helps to have a friend with you to keep you company.
• When you aren't sure what to do..just follow the crowd!